You may know him as Ochre Jelly, possibly as "stud muffin" but do you really know Iain Heath? We've collected information from home and abroad, interviewed numerous "sources" and drank a full six pack and got real psychic and have gathered all of those resources here. Finally, the little known origin story of this not-so-super hero can be told. So put on the kettle, warm up a crumpet and settle in for all the lurid details of the enigmatic and controversial artist, Iain Heath.
Iain Clifford Heath was born in the basement of a popular pub in Swindon, England in the summer of 1967. After a local doctor declared him "a boy with 10 fingers and 10 toes" (it should be noted that this was Dr. Snapperorgans, a local horse doctor) Iain ordered a pint of cider and started a fist fight.
His very early years consisted mostly of staring blankly at the telly as his parents nervously scanned for TV detector vans coming up the street. His preoccupation with Monty Python concerned his parents at first, but when it was later discovered he was simply admiring the numerous and creative hairstyles of Eric Idle, he was allowed to watch all he wanted, which was a lot. It was during one of these binges when a LEGO commercial aired, and Iain immediately began pointing at the screen and saying “want want want”. His parents, delighted to have their son interested in something other than Eric Idle’s hair, promised to buy him his first set. Unfortunately Iain was actually interested in the smart plaid pants worn by the boy in the commercial, but this confusion was quickly forgotten when he began to play with the bricks.
Iain’s adolescence was, for the most part, normal. With the exception of a crippling lack of likeability and incredibly pale skin, he was an average student. Shortly after graduating school, however, things took a dark turn. Obsessed with achieving adulthood, Iain abandoned his bricks and embarked on a bizarre escapade that has since become known as “The Isle Of Man Misunderstanding”. No further details are documented.
Upon returning to London, Iain met up with some surly characters and they formed a punk band called Spacetime Singularity. When the name was deemed “too cerebral” they renamed the band Bubble & Squeak. Unfortunately the band was short lived and they broke up when it was discovered that none of them actually owned instruments and that the drummer’s bass drum was in fact, a cheese wheel.
With complications stemming from the before mentioned Isle of Man incident, Iain was forced to flee england and settled in the Pacific Northwest. After trying his hand at several jobs including crab fishing and curb painter, Iain discovered a talent for coding. He joined a software company and began working hard on his “cubicle tan”. Not long after, in a desperate attempt to differentiate his work space to keep from forgetting which one it was, he began buying LEGO sets again. This rekindled his passion for the bricks.
A few years later, he started a blog called The Living Brick. Originally conceived as a conduit to realize his life-long passion to anthropomorphize building materials, he realized soon after that he could also feature LEGO creations by himself and others. This lead to his discovery of the online AFOL community, and put his fears to rest that he was the only adult to play with toys. There were many other adults out there that shared his love of LEGO, some of them possibly even more so (but he was still more pale).
In 2009 Iain attended his first convention, BrickCon in Seattle. It was there he met builder and fellow nerd Tommy Williamson. The two struck up a fast friendship, and while they continue to debate who is more pale, they both agree that LEGO is the “dog’s bollocks”. After a successful campaign to to sell his body to science fiction, Iain became what he describes as “comfortable” financially. He now spends his days admiring Eric Idle’s hair from the comfort of his suspended egg chair in his “Bond Villain” estate and playing with LEGO every chance he gets.