Dateline Anytown USA
Despite overwhelming odds, gamer Zach Bishop has managed to complete several levels of his game and advanced to level 68. While the importance of hygiene and sustenance are acknowledged, priorities must be set. Or in the words of Zach “yeah, whatever”. Yes, the threat of unloading the dishwasher proved to be a momentary distraction, but with concentration and perseverance, that too was overlooked. And while room cleaning and laundry loom large another threat could prove to be his downfall, sleep. We understand efforts are underway to thwart this however, with the discovery of a half consumed Rockstar discovered behind the monitor.